agony

drown

somewhere at the end of this world
there is a shore
I stand at the edge of it
this is where my destiny will unfurl
like the sail of a ship

memories from the past emerge and vanish
like illusive dolphins
I take a step forward
with a hope to get closer
If only I could touch them swim with them
dive to the depths with them
if only I could surround myself with a silence
that numbs the ache
perhaps then from the clatter of the present
and a lurching tomorrow I could escape

I stand and stare and the waters stare back
with a golden glare
right there on the edge I lie down
the icy cold waters and the shivering sands meet
I can feel their building passion underneath

a different me gets up and looks at me
smiles at me takes off the shirt and walks into the waters
ankle deep knee deep waist deep chest deep and then fully submerged
this me breathes more freely than ever

happy that to the rest of the world I have drowned
holding a dolphin's fin I go deeper
and look at all the mementos lying scattered on the sea floor
the ones that were lost and are now found


right then in the womb of the sea
one with waves as tall as ladders touching the sky
the raging sea within calms down and says goodbye

Matrix

misconstrued

there is a dark thick veil of mist/
like moldy curtains in an abandoned mansion/
with cobwebs as dense as your thoughts/
clinging to the broken chandelier/
reminiscent of times forgone gothic/

from behind that veil emerges a beast/
one that epitomizes brobdingnag/
your first reaction is to shout as you shudder/
but that scream is lost in the hollow of your throat/
as if your voice has been solidified frozen/
and your skin burns with the fever of fright/
ready to turn molten/

the ugliness of his face shows as disgust on yours/
you take a step back and stumble across your own shadow/
looking for anything that would act as a barricade/
to put some distance between you and this one creature led vile cavalcade/
you think of god and divine intervention then/
this nefarious creature has made you a believer once again/
you maunder broken trembling monitions/
your weak warnings of stabbing the beast to death do little/
as he continues his march towards you/
your face twitches you raise the dagger and face the inevitable/

after a looped moment that feels like ages/
you no longer see the beast's manic rages/
stabbed in the back it lies slumped inches away from your feet/
its arm outstretched like a half uttered plea/
the drumming of the drums of dread in your ears cease/
but the distortion on your face stays/
right then you see the beast for what it is/
right then you know that something was misconstrued and now lays felled/
right then you know in the one standing the inner beast remains/

Beneath Us

late into the night/
creep out the bastard children/
falling out of the crevices of this city/
like a million others/
many amongst them almost went under the knife/
the ones that survived look up/
with a hope to see the starlit sky/
as a compensation for the annexed daylight/
and all they get to see is us/
moving around in our staged pompous fuss/
we never had the courage to look at them/
looking at me and you/
we feared if we ever did/
they would spit on our faces and tell us/
the only thing left with a soul are your shoes/

hüzün

The despair of a muscle pumping with ragged beats

Against the chest it thumps raving to get out

Suffocated confused deluged with delusion

One moment tenderness the other fire it spits

Give me away no don’t give me away

It rants its feverish chants

Rest of the body held hostage by the string

Left of center the center of the circus’s ring

A meditating soothsayer

Behaving like a lunatic master puppeteer

Unleashing the stampede of a million wildebeests

With a new found taste for gambling

Setting rational madness and irrational beliefs scrambling

Trading an ounce for an ounce

Greedy only to give away be ripped out and find peace

At the moment of its seven pounds

Gods on E!