falderal

calloused skin

calloused now

tender once

responsive too

not any more

not any more

calloused care

calloused love

calloused conversations

calloused like

cold weak coffee 

in a tea cup

with a broken saucer

an absent pout 

and an uncomfortable handle

chapped flesh

chapped now

ready to rise, once

even at the slightest hint 

of anticipation

not any more

not any more

chapped optic fibres

chapped digitized images

chapped bytes, never taken

chapped like

the autumn leaf

with toothless blades

collapsed veins

and a defeated midrib

numb arms

and numb legs
lifted once
spread-eagled  too


not any more
not any more

numb medication
numb marrow in the bones
numb dull throb

numb like 
the wishing well
at the centre of the skeletal town
decrepit 
with wishes lying at the bottom
stagnant lost forever paying
the cost of a dead dime

this is it
this is it

is it?

wish it's not

thinking it is

knowing

nothing

calloused 

chapped

numb

desires

being sadistic

with themselves

sad with pleasure

happily sick with pain

longing 

for an outer body experience

pathetic

compilation of dead living cells

their temerity

such self-love

incredulous

all in vain

this skin

this flesh

these limbs

are broken

but never can they 

break free

try if you have to

try

drill the callous

shred the chap

cudgel the numb

and all you'l still get

is a broken 

piece of you

further 

broken into two

this skin
this flesh
these limbs
are broken

but never can they 
break free

cowedly

conversations in black white grey

purdah

previse

safeword

a field called theatre

a field
of memories
missed opportunities
chances taken
times forgotten

the length
of our shadows
with help of the sun
bookmarking
pages
on this field

this here
belongs to me

there
lies your claim

what was ours
what is ours
to only ponder upon

now dangles

on razor edges
of thin barbed fences
in between

but this too
is fleeting
shape shifting

like flashes of past
generally tend to be

we remember
our truths
attired in wishfulness
the way we wished once
to be
and longed to see

morning to afternoon
evening to night
act as just lines

dividing this field
into chapters
verses
sentences
words
letters

begging to be arranged
as we best recall
an i before a u
a u before a v
till it all gets
muddy
blurry
slurry

the sun
the field
the fenced plots 
of this field
the drawn lines 
demarcating 
instances
occurrences
consequences

waiting

for things
from the past
in awareness
that they can't
return

this
this is a field
remembered

as 

assumedly lost

and 

presumably buried