seep

what feeling, baby

she asks
legs
tangled 
in her bed sheet
her torso
bare

that feeling 
which makes me want to melt all over you
spread all over you
like a liquid
fluid
where i glide over your skin
every curl
every curve
like if i miss out even a single spot 
it wouldn't do
like it has to be complete
total
like it  has to cover the skin between your toes
like it has to enshroud every hair on your head
like it has to blanket your hips
and covert your breasts
like it has to glaze your legs
and wrap your arms
like it needs to pour down your mouth
         trickle down your chin and neck
like it has to glide against the walls of your throat
like it has to build a nest in your stomach
like it has to be there 
like effervescence in your breathe
like it has to match the scent of your wetness
like it has to taste like your saliva
like it has to become 
the warmth of your body
and the thump in your chest

that feeling

fractured weave

i only keep my hand

longer on your face

across your neck

on the small of your back

in hope

that my hands remember this

this feeling

for i have tried before

running my fingers and hand

across my face, closing my eyes

imagining

it is your hand, your fingers

it never feels the same

how does my very own hand

and my very own fingers

betray me so

my very own extensions

mocking my inadequacy

what does your hand have

what do your fingers do 

that is so special

what you hold

what you hold

is a spell

written in lead

i want to be that pencil

that you hold

in your hand

your fingers wrapped around me

with a purpose

leading me

me a pencil

and your fingers, together taut

in a slow tango

across the ballroom of lined paper

or even blank

how does that matter

it does not

not one bit

all that matters

is that we dance

we dance and not stop

right now

right now

i want to rip my clothes off

rip them off

and get on the floor

on my four

arch my back

and stretch my neck

and raise my face

facing you

my moon

my very own special moon

the rising of you

raising an animal

inside me

like a beast

not harmful or vicious

one just led by his instincts

his instincts ruled over

by your scent

the scent of the moon

the scent of the moon

you

i raise my head and howl

i howl

begging you

to fill me up

with your scent

these moonbeams

are paths made by your scent

teasing me

telling me

to follow them

that they would lead me to you

so i follow

i howl and i follow

you are up there

aren't you

looking down

from your celestial box

looking at this man beast

less a man more a beast

every passing minute

not one that is vicious

or malicious

just following

your scent

the scent of the moon

tempest

make this night stay

make this night stay

don't let it go

make sure it does not leave

here,

let me hold your hand

as you extend your arm

to clasp the night 

in your palm

the colour 

of the night

black

blue

dark blue

and 

a sprinkle of

white

colours of the night

daub

your hands

squeeze the night

squeeze it harder

till your knuckles

blush

constrict the night

till its colours ooze

transude

smother it

till the night has 

beads of sweat

on its forehead

upper lip

tip of the nose

smother it

till

it has no choice but

to open its mouth 

to breathe

and raise its hips 

to meet the thick

oxygen halo

looming

right above

make it 

lick

its drying lips

make them 

part

so that we can feed it

forcibly, if needed

pills of ecstasy 

wrench

the night

this sweetly thick 

musky night

take away it colours

wrench it hard

till its colours

ooze 

transude

a saturated sponge

this night

needs to be relieved

of its dark dark dark beauty

makes those colours

run up your wrist

your forearm

your underarm

your collarbone

your neck

your face

your eyes

i will catch them

when they reach your lips

and drink the colours

along with you

as we sit

alongside ourselves

watching us

sipping on the night

from our

primitive cups

we shall watch

the colours of the night

enter you

running down your throat

to your satin stomach

to the inside of your thighs

we'll let the night

and its colours

believe

that they both 

can escape

but

just when they think

they really can

we'll trap the colours

of the night

between our hips

and take these liquidly colours 

and grind them

to a fine fine powder

and smear it all over our bodies

covering every inch

of our skin

our mouths full

our nostrils flaring

the pores on our skin

breathing 

inhaling the night

and its colours

black

blue

dark blue

and 

a sprinkle of

white

submergence

i need to write

i need to write a poem

but it would only be anything 

completely meaningful

if i write it all over you

all over your bare skin

the meters and rhymes and rhythms and verses

when they end and where they begin

would take care of themselves 

as they bend around the curves and arches 

of your body

hugging your fluent breasts

turning towards your eloquent hips

falling at your feet

rising to your lips

around your back

wrapped tight

the mole on your neck

a punctuation mark

asking me to pause

take my time...

rapacious games

the dizziness 

that comes from being 

half asleep 

and fully awake

the rasp

that comes with early early mornings

punctuated

underlined 

by the soft creaking of the bed

the indents 

on the mattress 

and the pillow

growing deeper

like they have a secret love affair 

of their own 

going on

so completely unaware 

of the two people on them

trying 

to make and find and explore 

their secrets 

in each other

grating

satiating

but never enough

thank god it is never enough

falderal

calloused skin

calloused now

tender once

responsive too

not any more

not any more

calloused care

calloused love

calloused conversations

calloused like

cold weak coffee 

in a tea cup

with a broken saucer

an absent pout 

and an uncomfortable handle

chapped flesh

chapped now

ready to rise, once

even at the slightest hint 

of anticipation

not any more

not any more

chapped optic fibres

chapped digitized images

chapped bytes, never taken

chapped like

the autumn leaf

with toothless blades

collapsed veins

and a defeated midrib

numb arms

and numb legs
lifted once
spread-eagled  too


not any more
not any more

numb medication
numb marrow in the bones
numb dull throb

numb like 
the wishing well
at the centre of the skeletal town
decrepit 
with wishes lying at the bottom
stagnant lost forever paying
the cost of a dead dime

this is it
this is it

is it?

wish it's not

thinking it is

knowing

nothing

calloused 

chapped

numb

desires

being sadistic

with themselves

sad with pleasure

happily sick with pain

longing 

for an outer body experience

pathetic

compilation of dead living cells

their temerity

such self-love

incredulous

all in vain

this skin

this flesh

these limbs

are broken

but never can they 

break free

try if you have to

try

drill the callous

shred the chap

cudgel the numb

and all you'l still get

is a broken 

piece of you

further 

broken into two

this skin
this flesh
these limbs
are broken

but never can they 
break free

cowedly