"The Joke's On Me"

I've Always Been Here

I've been your window pane.
I've been the lamp-post by the corner of the street where your home is.
I've been the road on which you walk, jog and drive.
I've been the old metal mail-box.
I've been the reflection when you stand by your window at night, lost in thought, staring down at the streets.
I've been the pillow you press against your face when you cry.
I've been the bed-sheet you want to rip apart when in despair.
I've been the cell phone you threw away in anger.
I've been the mirror you kept staring endlessly at when you felt numb.
I've been the shower under which you sat for hours, trying to wash away all those years.
I've been the paper napkin with your initials and sweet nothings.
I've been the first movie ticket you've still kept.
I've been the first message on your cell phone, the first of the day and the last one at night.
I've been the lipstick which you've stopped using, the one you really liked.
I've been the mannequin when you tried a thousand dresses.
I've been the stubbed cigarette.
I've been the empty bottle rolling on the floor, now gathering dust in a corner.
I've been the song that made you reminisce.
I've been the picture you took for 'old time's sake'.
I've been your secret you were too embarrassed to tell.
I've been the mistake you made.
I've been the right you did.
I've been the paper you doodled upon.
I've been the thought in your mind when you weren't thinking anything at all.
I've been the bag you ignored when you got a new one.
I've been the joy that you felt when you got the purple clutch.
I've been the cuss-word you used when the shoes you had your eyes on when out of stock.
I've been the day you wanted to forget.
I've been the evening you looked forward to.
I've been the promise you never meant to keep.
I've been the truth you never told.
I've been the perfume you searched a thousand places for.
I've been the assignment that worked you up for a week.
I've been the useful article you found on the net which made you breathe a sigh of relief.
I've been the tasks you procrastinated.
I've been the new year resolutions that got you motivated.
I've been the 76 miscalls on your cell and the SOS smses you left.
I've been the embrace you wished would never end.
I've been the joke you never got.
I've been the best friend you always fought.
I've been the midnight cup of Earl Gray Dip Tea that kept you awake.
I've been the excuses you made.
I've been the split ends you wished away.
I've been the moisturizer with fragrance you wished would stay.
I've been your greatest regret.
I've been your wailing wall.
I've been your punching bag.
I've been the channel you flipped.
I've been the episode you dig.
I've been the movie you loved.
I've been the pain in your ass.
I've been the touch that made you feel beautiful.
I've been your loudest yell.
I've been the room you miss only after a day or two.
I've been the caress.
I've been the stress that wouldn't go away.
I've been the hand you held.
I've been the feeling you could never express.
I've been the feeling you wish never existed.
I've been the next day on your calendar.
I've been the reason you fear
I've been the smile that turned into a tear.
I've been the shadow that comforted you and the one you hoped would disappear.
I've been you when you wouldn't look.
I've been the past so many years.


I've always been here.

I know You. I don't know me.

The following is an excerpt from: I know You. I don't know me.

*This incidentally was written by the author in a state of absolute clarity.

Chapter:6 - Seeking the final call
There are so many questions that I have. So many that they flood my mind, my veins, they flow in my bloodstream. They make me want to run away. Only if I could figure out where. Is there a place where my mind could be empty, devoid of thoughts, of questions? Where my veins won't burst and where questions don't clot my bloodstream. And what am I left with, even right now, when I look for an answer to escape from all these questions...more questions. Do they ever stop invading. They never relent, do they? Angst. Helplessness. Hopelessness. Wanting to scream out, to shout, to pull my hair one by one from their follicles, to peel of my skin and just step away from this life and if I am lucky step into another and if I am luckier, not step into any other. Not any more. The desire is gone. Just like my urge to find answers to my questions. It all seems superfluous. Everything does seem that way. What good is a voice that can't communicate? What good is a touch that can't convey. What good is a mind that is not open? What good is a heart that is unrelenting? What good am I if I am this...this thing that you see, hear, touch everyday, but wished that you had rather not?

Yes, I am distancing myself from you, like I am from the rest of them. But it has a sense of purpose. Atleast one that makes more sense from all the non-sense lying around. I wish to not corrupt you like I have corrupted myself, my body and my soul. I wish not to bring upon you the wrath that you would undoubtedly be subjected to by the mere instance of seeing my shadow. I only wished to protect you through my invisible presence, but I have tainted you thus.

I knew you, you with all your good and all your bad but unfortunately I only knew me as the bad that was within me. I knew not the good or if it existed. I knew not that me being me was the worst part.

Hence I say once again, one final time. I know you.It is me I don't know.and that it would be best for me to not exist any more and perish as was foreordained and reduce the misery of all those around by seeking my final call.

Name of the Author - Minority