Thursday, May 26, 2011

dreams

She opened her eyes.
There was a smile on her face when she woke up.
It was a beautiful dream that she had woken up from.
She had imagined him in that room.
Lying down right besides her.
Holding her close.
It was a winter morning.
There was a certain chill in the air.
But she, she felt warm because of him.
Lying side ways, they both looked into each others eyes.
And smiled. And spoke.
In their morning after, deep but soft tones.
You are here? She asked him.
Where else would I be? he replied and played with a strand of her hair.
Hmmm...she said. I am glad you are here. It gets very cold when you are not.
Yes. It does. Doesn't it. He replied. I feel that too.
Every time I go away, I only want to come back to you.
Liar. She said and laughed. Teasing him.
No. Its true. He said with hurtful eyes. Tell me you know its true.
Haan Baba! I know its true. Don't get all serious now. Smile!
Please smile for me. You know how it makes me happy to see you smile. You don't smile that often. Have you realized?
I don't? Really? I thought I did. He said.
You do. But not as much as I would want you too. She said with a smile that was the most beautiful in the world.
Kiss me! she said. Kiss me right now. Don't talk your big heavy worded talks.
Tell me with your kiss how much you love me!!!
What! Now! Right now!!!? But we haven't even brushed yet. You hate kissing without brushing your teeth and more importantly me brushing mine!
Yes...I do. But not today. Now...stop talking and kiss me.
Just when he leaned in to kiss her she said, "You know what? Yesterday I had an amazing dream!
Yeah really! he said...unsure whether to risk making her feel that he was more interested in kissing her right then, than listening to her talk about her dream.
Yes. She said with a happy glow.
Tell me all about it. He said. Tell me about it with all its details. Leave nothing out.
Yesterday, early in the morning. Infact very early in the morning I was dreaming about you and a strange thing happened!!!
What thing? He said.
I actually felt that you were in this room and that you kissed me. Trust me it was sooo real that I felt it.
I really felt it and I woke up smiling, realizing I was only dreaming when I tried to kiss you back. She said and smiled with the sweetest embarrassed smile.
The smile warmed him up. He did not. Could not say anything.
He just held her closer. Her head on his chest. Her fingers playing with the hair on his chest.
Their legs intertwined. Their eyes closed.
The room was silent and filled with their presence, oblivious to everything else.
There was nothing else at that moment. Just them.
He turned his face slightly, gently towards her ears and whispered
You know this...this is the bestest feeling in the world.
He closed in eyes. They closed their eyes.
Both saying nothing just holding each others hands a little tighter.

The rays of the sun stared cruelly upon her face.
She tried to shade her face with her hands but that did not help.
Please go away she said. Let me sleep. I need some sleep. I have not slept in days and nights.
The sun did not relent.
Finally she opened her eyes. Looked around. She was alone in the room.
She felt the pillow and the sheet. They were both cold.
She looked at the photograph lying on the table by the bed.
The night lamp was still on. Creating a halo around the photo.
She took it in her hands. Kissed it. And whispered. Yes it is the bestest feeling in the world. Couldn't you have stayed with me for a moment longer last night.But I know you would be here again, tonight.
Before the cruel sun wakes me up.



Monday, May 23, 2011

on and on

strung out stuck out stood up walked on and it goes on and on...
look up look down never look back and it goes on and on...
besides myself inside myself within myself without myself and it goes on and on...
left my soul out lost my mind on the sidewalk somewhere...
here and there i looked for myself everywhere and it goes on and on...
thoughts of this and that feelings all come to mean nothing...
why where what how whether neither...
either ways doubts and it goes on and on...
lost a lot gained a little gathered pieces broken stolen self respect and it goes on and on...
tear torn tattered leaving bit by bit behind...
finder keeper night walker dream chaser winner loser and it goes on and on
tired taken kept forsaken seeking sought love the wrath of god and it goes on and on...
breathe fire ashes blown tears hidden pain unknown bosom slashed fingers encashed and it goes on and on...
never ever always forever my own our own their own hidden never shown and it goes on and on...
this is the day that is the way this is where you enter this is where i exist you are the solemn human i am the cursed beast and it goes on and on
freckled speckled bedazzled urged nudged nursed the last the first and it goes on and on...
held felt wept laughed shrieked shrunk bloom gloom stood together fought together fought each other kissed the upper lip u kissed the nether and it goes on and on...
a bond of blood a bond of soul a bond of bonds a bond of the bonds of bond lost never found and it goes on and on...
depth of the sea the depth of sleep the dead of the night the wake of the dawn the sleep of the demons the waking up of angels and it goes on and on...
bundle of nerves bundle of wealth bundle of fortunes lost bundles opened and left bundles of gold turned to stone rub spit shine polish make it turn and it goes on and on...
turn your back get back stay back the beauty and me the hunchback poetry short story narrative repetitive say it all sketch it all make you see make you believe and it goes on and on...
strung out stuck out stood up walked on and it goes on and on...
look up look down never look back and it goes on and on...
besides myself inside myself within myself without myself and it goes on and on...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

home is where you are

brick by brick we've built a house...

inch by inch we've made it into our home...

the colours of the wall..

the fabric of the drapes...

and the direction of the french window opening into our lawn...

day after day..we've imagined it all...

now all i wish for...

is to hold your hand...

and walk together into what no longer is just a dream

our quaint little home, by the beach and the sea..

and look into each others eyes and know

we now have something that is our very own

Monday, May 16, 2011

Mis.Justice (Work In Progress)

Guilt

bared fangs with acid tips

stare into the abyss you call eyes

reminding you of what you buried deep

unforgiving...i am unforgiving...you vermin, it screams

agitated, moving with a ferocious gait

a bundle of nerves thumping blood

like the mad crescendo of a tribal drum

relishing the look of your sickening grief

it smells fear doused in your sweat

it's inviting, it says, with a sadist's grin

oh the look! sends down a numbing chill

the sound of smacking lips

the nauseating smell of rotten flesh

and the traces of dried blood

limb by limb i shall tear you apart

and rip you open

taunting. take a look inside

and see how shallow you seem

one final look at those bared fangs with acid tips

tell you that the deed is done

and it shall now return

satisfied...knowing

you're buried next to your biggest dread

Sunday, May 15, 2011

night vision

come and lie down next to me

your eyelids seem like curtains of iron, heavy and weary

rest your head against my bosom and wrap your spindly legs around me

the promised land, the blissful heaven they are all right here

beneath a patch of scented fur

look at me and think of venus

consume me like i'm your maenads

controlled, rapture, manic, calm

disrobe them and bring them along

a night of feasts, an orgy of the hungry beasts

see how the curtains of weariness lifts

and gives a glimpse of the rising one

all this, at first, may seem twisted and distorted

but to think of it, who in their right mind is sorted

come, devour as you choose

spend me and be spent

know me as you know yourself

no veils of shame, no disguise of decency needed here

embrace your desires

dip deep into my back with your nails

and enslave my ecstasy

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Empty

Loneliness is but my only companion
Unwavering and always there
It cradles me to sleep with a silent lullaby
And wakes me up with those forlorn, forgotten eyes
It carries me through the days
And engulfs me at nights
Like a shadow it stays with me
One that grows deeper and darker when the lights go off
Like a vestige taunting me on my current fate
Like a salve soothing me on my current fate
Loneliness is but my only companion
Loneliness and memories

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

From Dusk Till Dawn

I stayed up from dusk till dawn, just for a fleeting moment weariness caught on…

I had woken up into a new day, but it was still dark. I couldn’t yet see the face for which I had stayed up till dawn…

Just a spoiled moment in a lifetime of joy and I feared it was all gone…

You stopped smiling and I could feel the loss, I couldn’t bear to see that face fade away into the absence of light, buried my f ace in my palms, confused by my plight…

Just a silhouette though it now seemed, how could I forget it had colored my life, the color of love, the color of breathe, the color of fate, the color of dreams, the color of the future…

If only for a moment, how could all these colors be gone, mixed together to make the color of dawn…

Waiting for morning, for the smile, the warmth, the love to return, “Us” to return like the rays of the sun, a spectrum and yet one…

The happiness touching all, I plead I never again have to stay up from dusk till dawn…