we used to laugh
din't we
there were times
when i
used to hold you
align my body right
next to you
the front of my body
snug
against
the side of yours
fitting
those curves
and i used to lean in
and i used to
say funny things
into your ears
just so that
when you laughed
i
me
my body
would move along
with yours
as you laughed
i did that
because
i wanted to feel your laugh
not just see it
or hear it
but feel it
be one
with its
tone and timbre
and rhythm
and rise and fall
i wanted to live in your laugh
wanted to
live with your laugh
and
and we used to talk
din't we
i used to
say things
that stopped your breath
and formed a knot in your throat
no
not the one
that pricks
or itches
or chokes
or tightens your chord
but like a sweet pudding
a succulent morsel
of endearment
of love
i did that
so that i could
then
slip my tongue
down your throat
and untie it
slowly
very slowly
very very slowly
like taking
small
deliberate
bites
untying it with my teeth
making that knot disappear
easing your vocal chord
so that you could
let out that moan
of relief
of joy
of pleasure
we used to
be
din't we
it used to be
us
and when half of us
i/me
was enough
but that was then
before
the crowds came in
hundreds and thousands
of them
faceless
all armed with
their likes
and favourites
hidden behind a screen
those masked
smart sassy
things
that was then
and after that
even
your morning wishes
which were mine
got shared
your moments
which you used to bring to me
to make them ours
got shared
your late night rants
and messianic chants
got shared
the highs of your life
attracted
and became a cause for
community celebrations
and the lows
brought in
sympathetic virtual
shoulders
cold
is how i felt
when
all that was mine
got shared
and then
numb
as i
slowly
became the invisible
bystander
who could
only hear
the sounds of your distant laughter
drowned in the crowd
raised on their shoulders
and passed on
from
one faceless
to one facetoomany
who could
only move his fingers
eyes closed
seeking those
knots
they were there
he knew they were there
just not for him to untie
and now
he
i
the bystander
just stand and
watch
and hear
living up to be
the perfect specimen of
an after-thought
with a thought
of his own
may be
the crowds were always there
may be
the crowds were always there
and may be
the crowd shall always be
and that
may be
he was always meant
to be
that lost
semi-nostalgic
question
from the past
one
that decorates
your life
or day
or a moment
occasionally
when the crowd
gets
too busy
for anything
as serious as your real life
your reality
"din't we..."
din't we
there were times
when i
used to hold you
align my body right
next to you
the front of my body
snug
against
the side of yours
fitting
those curves
and i used to lean in
and i used to
say funny things
into your ears
just so that
when you laughed
i
me
my body
would move along
with yours
as you laughed
i did that
because
i wanted to feel your laugh
not just see it
or hear it
but feel it
be one
with its
tone and timbre
and rhythm
and rise and fall
i wanted to live in your laugh
wanted to
live with your laugh
and
and we used to talk
din't we
i used to
say things
that stopped your breath
and formed a knot in your throat
no
not the one
that pricks
or itches
or chokes
or tightens your chord
but like a sweet pudding
a succulent morsel
of endearment
of love
i did that
so that i could
then
slip my tongue
down your throat
and untie it
slowly
very slowly
very very slowly
like taking
small
deliberate
bites
untying it with my teeth
making that knot disappear
easing your vocal chord
so that you could
let out that moan
of relief
of joy
of pleasure
we used to
be
din't we
it used to be
us
and when half of us
i/me
was enough
but that was then
before
the crowds came in
hundreds and thousands
of them
faceless
all armed with
their likes
and favourites
hidden behind a screen
those masked
smart sassy
things
that was then
and after that
even
your morning wishes
which were mine
got shared
your moments
which you used to bring to me
to make them ours
got shared
your late night rants
and messianic chants
got shared
the highs of your life
attracted
and became a cause for
community celebrations
and the lows
brought in
sympathetic virtual
shoulders
cold
is how i felt
when
all that was mine
got shared
and then
numb
as i
slowly
became the invisible
bystander
who could
only hear
the sounds of your distant laughter
drowned in the crowd
raised on their shoulders
and passed on
from
one faceless
to one facetoomany
who could
only move his fingers
eyes closed
seeking those
knots
they were there
he knew they were there
just not for him to untie
and now
he
i
the bystander
just stand and
watch
and hear
living up to be
the perfect specimen of
an after-thought
with a thought
of his own
may be
the crowds were always there
may be
the crowds were always there
and may be
the crowd shall always be
and that
may be
he was always meant
to be
that lost
semi-nostalgic
question
from the past
one
that decorates
your life
or day
or a moment
occasionally
when the crowd
gets
too busy
for anything
as serious as your real life
your reality
"din't we..."
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